Things about me that would probably not be true if I did not have a 4 year old son

1. I know that Hulk and Spiderman, while both on the same side, have significant tension and have fought each other.

2. I can tell when "I didn't do it" is true or false.

3. Straightening up the living room might involve picking up Buzz Lightyear, a dinosaur, 2 pair of Transformers underwear, 5 socks (never an even number) and a glue stick that is missing most of its glue.

4. I spend a lot of my time in public places apologizing for someone else--Sorry he bumped into you! Sorry that pen narrowly missed your head! Sorry my son thought your purse was a trash can! Sorry!

5. I say "excuse you" in response to another's burps more often than I have to say "excuse me" for my own.

6. I buy fruit snacks in bulk.

7. I can explain the landscapes on each level of Mario Brothers for Wii.

8. I know that no amount of logic, bribing, threatening, arguing, pleading, or ignoring will make a 4 year old eat something he doesn't want to eat.

9. I know that Aaron doesn't seem to mind having all of his toys piled on top of his face "so he can reach them really easy."

10. Before I fall asleep at night, when I am not worrying about my daughter's teenage years, I am worrying about what was done with that glue stick.