Thursday, June 26, 2008

Mickey, hold on to your ears (or at least cover them)--here comes AMEN!

Right now, it is a little after 11 PM on Thursday night. Our living room is a sea of luggage, toys, clothes, sunscreen, and sippy cups. My brain is a sea of flight reservations, packing lists, park hours and quantum physics. Okay, not the last one, but it might as well jump in there too.

Though I joke a lot about the likelihood that this vacation will kill us, in all reality I am really looking forward to it. The kids are going to LOVE the parks and all the swimming we'll do, and that will be so fun to watch. Also, I am an amusement park freak, and I have never--repeat, never--been to Disney World before. This is huge for me! It's like my own little thrill ride Mecca.

I will try to find a way to blog while we're gone, but I can't make any promises. In the meantime, entertain yourself imagining what Ethan and Abby could be putting the Disney characters through, and guessing how many times I can convince Matt to ride Space Mountain in a row. Fun times!

Saturday, June 21, 2008

He can dig it

Bless Matt's heart. He is a wonderful husband, and he treats me so well. But sometimes, he just digs himself into a little verbal hole that deepens with every word out of his mouth. And I have to admit that more often than not, I keep handing him the shovel.

A few days ago, we were getting ready for work and I asked him if he likes my hair being so short. He HATES when I do this kind of thing. First, because it's such a loaded question. Second, because it comes with no warning at all--moments before, we had been talking about when to get my car serviced. So you would think that since he knows the dangers of these waters, he would stay away. Simple and enthusiastic is always safe, like "YES! I love it."

That's not what he said.

You know what he said?

He said, "Sure. Now that you're, well, I mean, once women start getting to a certain age, well, I think, I mean, it's very appropriate for where you're at in life."

I think my eyebrows shot all the way to my hairline. I was torn between shock and amusement, so while I sorted out a response in my head, what did I do? Here's your shovel, honey. "So do you like it better than the old way?"

At that point, he realized he was in way over his head. I think "Ummm." was all he managed. Given the alternatives, I think that was a wise choice. Because I knew he was panicking and because I really did sort of set him up for failure, I let him off the hook. He exited the room as fast as humanly possible. I just finished fixing my "appropriate" hair and stuck the shovel in my back pocket for next time.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

You like me, you really like me!

Wow, you guys are actually paying attention! (Well, 4 of you are anyway). Okay, here are the topics demanded by the masses:

- Though my brain knows that I am leaving work soon (46 more days of work left)(not that I'm counting), it's hard to really grasp it logically. It will be such a complete change of lifestyle in every way that I really can't fathom what it's going to be like. I figure I'll be well into October before it truly sinks in that I'm not just on leave. That said, I am VERY excited about it. I'm anxious to get into the groove of being at home, and hoping to be able to actually have clean house by sometime early-winter!

- Weddings are bopping right along. I have a couple in July and some this fall, but (fortunately) nothing has been so wild that it merited individual blogging in a while. Bad for the blog, GOOD for me.

- We are flying to Disney World, though we are leaving from Memphis. (We're flying with Jacob and his family, so we have to meet up with them in LR anyway, and the flight from Memphis is nonstop and WAY cheaper than the one from LR). Abby is more excited about flying than going to Disneyworld.

- Abby's swim lessons are going beautifully. I'm amazed at how brave she has been, and how much she has learned. I have also grown very, VERY tired of spending my evenings watching 16 year old girls (the "instructors") in red bikinis bounce up and down in the water. A few of them could stand to go up a size in their suits too, if you know what I mean.

So life isn't as quiet as I thought. Thank goodness!

Monday, June 16, 2008

I got nothin

I realize that it's time for another post. I really, truly cannot think of anything to talk about. How pitiful is that? We're doing orientation at work, and that's mind-numbingly repetitive. The kids are doing well, but haven't done anything terribly outrageous lately. Life is pretty quiet for the moment. I think that God's just giving me a little break before I embark on what is certain to be the most exhausting week of my life--taking my children to Disney World at the end of the month. I'm sure that after this bit of blogging desert, that trip will provide an oasis of antecdotes. Until then, if there's anything you can think of I should write about, by all means let me know.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Better than duct tape?

Matt is out of town until Friday, we started New Student Orientation yesterday, and Abby has swim lessons every night this week. Laundry is piled to my ceiling, and it's competing with the dishes. AND, I have a paper cut in the tiny bridge of skin between my ring finger and my pinkie--do you know how much those hurt?!

Okay, just had to get that off my chest. Now, enough whining. I had hoped that someone would ask me to list some of the examples of the million uses for Wal Mart bags to which I referred in my last post. No one did, but I'm not the kind of gal that lets something like that get in my way (don't you love the word gal?). Here are a few of my favorites. Feel free to add your own.

Great Uses for Wal Mart Bags

1. Hair cover for running to the car in the rain.
2. Substitute lunch box.
3. Garage sale check-out bag.
4. Container for wet swimsuit.
5. Luggage.
6. Parachute for a very tiny person.
7. Trash can liner.
8. Purse.
9. Material for VERY cute tote bag.
(this is actually pretty cool--take a look:
10. Stinky diaper container.
11. Snow boots.
12. Disposable gloves.
13. Packing material.
14. Textured wall paint applicator.
15. Christmas light string storage container.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008


Right off the bat, let me say this: I love Wal-Mart. I love the wide aisles and the reasonable prices and the large selection. I love the senior citizens that greet you at the door. I love the plastic bags they put your stuff in that have 1,001 uses afterwards. I love that I can get orange juice, a new television set, a throw blanket and a cute pair of flip flops all in the same place. It's a great place to shop, Wal-Mart.


Once a year, my generally positive attitude towards Wal Mart is replaced with extreme annoyance. The first week of June, approximately 1.5 million (okay, it's really closer to 15,000, but when it goes past a few thousand accuracy is no longer important) WM employees and shareholders converge in Northwest Arkansas for the annual shareholder's convention. Not just Northwest Arkansas, but the U of A campus--where I go to work every day.

Before I expound on why this is such a source of contention, I will acknowledge a few of the benefits of this occurrence:

- They always have 2 or 3 free concerts in the stadium--among this year's performers are Carrie Underwood, Keith Urban, Taylor Swift and Journey. Years past have seen Jimmy Buffett and the Eagles, and among many others.

- The attendees get to see (and spend money in) our beautiful campus and town.

- During shareholder's week, every Wal Mart in NWA is in tip-top condition. Everything is in stock, the floors are shiny, every cash register line is open, and there are free samples everywhere.

Now, the other side.

- These people are EVERYWHERE. Lots of them come on giant buses--there are dozens and dozens and dozens of buses crawling all over campus. Traffic is miserable.

- On the meeting day, forget going to any restaurants, or even being able to move your car from its parking spot--the buses simply park in every row of every lot to wait for the meeting to be over, so most cars are blocked in until early afternoon.

- If you happen to work in the section of campus that I do, your building is very near two huge residence halls, each of which house hundreds of WM employees from all over the world for the week. They move mostly in herds, and can block huge sections of sidewalk at a time--either that or they're lost and in constant need of directions.

- If you happen to work for the Sam M. Walton College of Business, as I also do, then as far as most of these people are concerned you work in a revered space, because it has HIS name on it. I lose count of how many people I see pose for pictures in front of this building. No big deal unless you want to walk by--don't dare get in the frame!

The thing you have to understand is that these people defy all boundaries normally associated with company loyalty. They LOVE Wal Mart. This is like a trip to the Holy Land for them. For those of us not similarly entranced, it is bewildering and eventually irritating.

I think that next year, since I will no longer have to worry about being fired from a job as a possible consequence of my actions, I'm going to have a little fun during shareholder's week. I will come to campus, casually join a large group of over-excited attendees, and scream "Oh my gosh, look! It's the CEO!" Or I'll offer personalized "Walton tours" of campus so they can see the precious name everywhere that it's engraved, hung or written. Or I'll hang out at the airport and try to convince arriving celebrities that I'm their driver. Bizarre? Maybe. But if you can't beat them, you might as well join them in Weirdville.