Tuesday, March 31, 2009


Mm Mm Mmm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm MMMM!

(Did you get that?)

Whoo boy, Kris tore UP that song tonight! Homeboy can sing. Loved the arrangement. Danny was fantastic too, though it continues to freak me out that he could be my brother Sam's twin. And I know there are plenty of Adam haters out there, but I think he's great.

Everyone else? Eh. And that's being generous. Though I did think Scott did better than usual.

So does your top three differ from mine? It's a free country. You'd be wrong, but you're allowed.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

I owe my sanity to Zofram and Lindsey Lohan

WOW, this has been a long week. We're definitely in the home stretch of tonsillectomy recovery, but it has been a battle. The pain medicine made her sick to her stomach, so we had to get medicine for that. She wakes up sore and insanely cranky several times each night. Poor thing! Most of the daytime is good, as long as we can keep the medicine flowing. We have watched Parent Trap, Freaky Friday and Herbie: Fully Loaded multiple times each. I feel like Lindsey Lohan has moved into our house.

I need to be going to bed right now, but Matt has turned on Dog the Bounty Hunter. I get sucked into that show in 8 seconds flat. Have you ever seen it? It is addictive. I am fascinated by Dog and his wife. I want to go to their house and meet them. I want to play Monopoly with them. I bet they're a lot of fun.

Okay, clearly I'm in need of sleep. I'm going to go get it. Please don't hold this post against me later.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

My microwave would never betray me like this

Okay, I know it's already Wednesday, but the last few days have been a little hectic. The surgery went fine, and Abby was such a brave little thing. Monday and Monday evening went really well. Tuesday and today have been quite tough. Nothing unusual, it just hurts, and that makes her mad. I get it. Makes me mad for her. We're REALLY hoping tomorrow will be better. While she feels this way, she requires me to be within arms' reach of her at all times. I don't mind most of the time, but eventually I'm going to have to shower.

Not helping things is the fact that after 10 years, our refrigerator chose Monday to quit working. Really? Really?? Right when ice cream has never been more important. Matt scheduled a repairman to come tomorrow, so he'll no doubt show up at the worst possible time.

At least it was Idol night! Abby watched some with me, and even squeezed a vote in for Kris. That's my girl! Kris, Danny and Adam are my top 3. Adam was the BOMB tonight. No screaming! Love that guy. What did you think?

Abby seems to think that her post-surgery status entitles her to a stream of visitors, so if you live nearby and feel up to pouring pity and attention on a tonsil-less 6-year old, come on by. Maybe while you're visiting with her I can take a shower!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Big day tomorrow

Tomorrow morning (Monday) Abby's having her tonsils out. She is crazily, remarkably cool about the whole thing. Perhaps because she knows she's going to be spoiled rotten and everyone keeps talking about ice cream. Still, I'm impressed. And nervous. I'm afraid I'm the one who will fall apart.

At any rate, I'll post once we're home and the queen is in her royal recovery bed. Until then, your prayers are appreciated.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

You'll have a moment, and you'll like it!

I do this thing. When I have this quiet moment with Abby, I try to turn it into a "moment." You know, one of those small simple things that don't seem life-altering at the time but that will be a bedrock memory in her brain. When her future husband asks her about her childhood, she won't talk about the thirty seven times a day I yell at her to hurry up, but about the sweet, meaningful moments we shared. In these moments, I'll impart priceless wisdom and affection while the breeze blows gently and God smiles down on me for being such a good mommy.

Somehow, it doesn't usually seem to work out that way.

Take tonight for example. We jumped on the trampoline, and then laid side by side as the sun set and watched the clouds go by. Here's how the conversation went:

Me: Look at those clouds--aren't they beautiful?
Abby: That one looks like a B!
Me: It sure does. Just look at how big the sky is. And imagine--God make this whole world all by himself. He's that big! And we get to live here and see it all.
Abby: OH!
Me: What?
Her: Now it looks like a pig.
Me: Okay, then.
Abby: Can we jump some more?
Me: Why don't we just talk some more?
Abby: I'm getting down.

Fine, thwart my attempt to give you an idyllic childhood.

Lest you think that Abby's just too much of a little kid to think grown up thoughts, let me also recount for you the conversation we had at bedtime. I had just told her that when she gets her tonsils out next week, she will get to take a stuffed animal with her. She has about 8 that she sleeps with regularly.

Abby: Why only one?
Me: I don't know, that's just the rule.
Abby: How am I supposed to choose which one to take?
Me: Maybe you should talk to them about it, and ask them who wants to go.
Abby: Mom. They don't talk.
Me: Well, maybe they'll talk to you!
Abby: Um, no. (Turns to animals) Hey guys, who wants to go with me? (Waits.) Guys? (Waits.) Anybody? (To me) Told you.

Can't think where she gets that attitude.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

They have to do it, but I don't have to like it

Thank goodness, the inevitable but nonetheless dreaded Country Night on Idol is now behind us. They've gotten better with giving contestants a larger choice of songs, but it's still painful. I'm tired, so here is a very brief rundown:

- Love Kris. Loved that the judges loved Kris. Wish he wouldn't do that odd thing with his mouth, but love him. Already voting.

- Love Danny. He's just so cute!

- Liked Adam, even though I can see how most people didn't. I know he's beyond weird, but his vocal ability is really extraordinary. Plus, he's fun. In that weird kind of way.

- Megan is way tougher than I ever plan to be. Did you hear that hacking? Ick.

- Matt is growing on me.

- Cara is SO great as a judge, and makes Paula look all the worse.

Your thoughts?

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Read at your own risk

WARNING: This blog entry is graphic. It deals with child illness and really gross stuff. I considered watering it down, but that really doesn't do the story justice. So I am keeping it real, and if you start to get queasy at ALL, stop reading immediately. Return in a couple of days when the content will be a little easier to stomach.

Last night, we were getting ready to put the kids to bed. I had just finished reading a book to Ethan, and Abby brought hers over to me. Ethan cleverly went to his dad to get a second reading. They were (thankfully) in the leather chair, about 3 pages in, when Ethan--with no warning whatsoever--spit up a little. Matt yelped and I jumped up to get a towel. I was three steps in when Ethan let loose with the largest volume of vomit I have ever seen come out of one person (except for the time Abby threw up watching American Idol and sprayed the walls of three rooms of our house, which is another story). Unfortunately the last thing he had eaten was Oreos, so it was all black, which is really creepy. Matt (who is normally pretty chill about such things) was really grossed out. I kind of lost my sensibilities for a second and rather than running for a bath towel, I for some reason went to the kitchen and grabbed 12 dish towels and dumped them on top of Matt and Ethan and the pile-o-vomit. It didn't help much, though it did provide another surface for him to soil with his second large spray.

Matt was turning greener by the minute, and I certainly didn't want him to contribute to the rapidly accumulating puke, so I grabbed Ethan under his arms and held him out as far away from me as I could. I bolted for the bathroom, praying the entire time that he was done. I started the bath and got him undressed (if there is something more difficult than trying to undress a squirmy boy whose clothes are covered in throw-up while trying not to get it all over yourself, I don't want to know about it). He acted like nothing had happened and played away in the bath. Matt had changed and was working at cleaning up the chair, floor, and book. Abby was curled in a fetal position on the couch, completely traumatized by witnessing the entire thing.

Finally, we got the boy and the house cleaned up, and both kids in bed. We know that kids sometimes just throw up, and really didn't think he was sick--it was just one of those things. When we were ready to go to bed, I went to check on Ethan. To my surprise, he was sound asleep on his floor. He is quite a squirmer when he sleeps, so I wasn't too surprised. I went to pick him up, and my hands touched not just boy, but goo. DANG it. Sure enough, he had thrown up all over his bed, then apparently just climbed onto the floor to sleep somewhere clean, so blase is my boy about regurgitating. So! Clean the boy, change his sheets, tuck him in AGAIN. We hooked up the baby monitor so we would know if anything happened during the night.

It did. Around 2 AM, I heard him whimper. Because I'm lazy like that, I poked Matt and urgently requested that he go check on Ethan. He made it halfway when I heard the heaving. Double dang. Once again, I found myself stripping my son and putting him in the bath. He was downright enjoying it. We were running out of clean pajamas and bed sheets. That marked the end of the pukefest. He's been find today, and seems to look back on last night with fond memories. He is such a boy.

I am sure glad that's over--both the actual events and recapping them. Do you know how hard it is to come up with a variety of synonyms for vomit?

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Whose home are they talking about? Satan's?

Tonight I took my mom to the Taste of Home Cooking School as her birthday present. It's a huge event that comes to NWA every year or two, but neither of us had never been. Mom is an awesome cook, and I like food, so we figured much fun would be had by all.


We were wrong.

The doors opened at 5 for the vendor booths, so we got there at 5 til. There were already easily a thousand people there. We went into a small ballroom that was lined with tables filled with vendors giving out various food samples. Each table was mobbed. We went to the table with the shortest line and hopped in. As we got near the table, I saw two women out of the corner of my eye. They were in their 70s and using walkers. They were about 30 feet away, and I watched them scoot directly over to our line. The first lady pushed her front walker legs right in front of my mom's show and shimmied herself up to the table. Mom and I just stood there with our mouths hanging open, but they couldn't have cared less. All that so they could get at the cherry tomatoes pronto.

The rest of the booths were more of the same. Women with too much jewelry who clearly don't get a night out very often fighting their way into lines to get free guacamole. We had our personal space invaded more times than I care to recall. We finally decided that we'd just go hungry. By then it was 5:20. We swam through the ocean of obnoxiousness to get to the doors to the actual event, the cooking show. There were already hundreds of people waiting to get in--the doors opened at 6 and the actual show didn't start until 7. We slouched into line behind a contingency of women wearing denim skirts and fringed vests. After about 2 minutes, our eyes met and I said, "or we could ditch and go out to dinner." Faster than you could say "cattle call" we were at the front doors. As we walked out, we passed a girl standing in the vestibule. My mom randomly asked her if she wanted our tickets, and what do you know? She did! So we even got our money back. That's what I call serendipitous. And then we went shopping and ate dinner at Bonefish--all in the time we would have been waiting for the show to start had we stayed. THAT is what I call smart. And the Taste of Home Cooking School? We won't discuss what I call that.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Time to get serious

Okay, NOW we're talking. After weeks of shenanigans and Tatiana, American Idol is finally to the big leagues. There may be 13 finalists, but to me you can already bet on the final four:

1. Danny. The dude is awesome. Love his personality, love his voice, even love his goofy dancing.
2. Lil. LOVE her. She is so genuine and cute. Plus, those lungs! The only girl I really like.
3.Kris. By far the hottest guy on, plus he's from Conway. Oh yeah, and he can seriously sing and play. Mm-mmm-mmm. Hate it for his wife, cause he's going to have panties thrown on any stage he graces for a while (which could be awkward if he goes back to his church to lead worship any time soon).
4. Adam. Seriously? That voice? It's almost inhuman. I just love watching him perform. Plus he's just so...pretty.

There are some other good folks, but I really think these are the best. A couple of other random notes:

1. When they were showing the Michael Jackson montage at the beginning of the show, Abby asked, "Is that a girl or a boy?" HA.

2. It's freaky the way they use the stage floor as a screen to show the performance--while it's happening. The singers are stepping all over their own faces, which is just plain weird.

What are your thoughts? Who do you think is leaving? I don't really care, as long as it's not any of my four.

Monday, March 9, 2009

A whole new world

Today after I dropped Ethan off at Miss Debbie's, I headed to the mall to make a quick return. I was all about using my time efficiently, so I parked and zipped in. I was halfway to the store before I realized that all the security gates were down--the stores didn't open until 10. Perfect. I looked at my watch and saw that it was 25 minutes until 10. Somehow, my brain warped that into a normal amount of time to spend wandering around a mall that has nothing open. For 10 minutes I ambled. I finally gave up and went to Target, but not before making a few very interesting observations.

First, I was by no means alone, though I did seem to be the only person there who didn't realize the stores would be closed. Dozens and dozens of mall walkers were chugging along. Some in pairs, chatting away, some power walking solo. What surprised me was the variety of people. There were plenty of 50-something women with velour suits and fanny packs, but there were also young moms, senior citizens, and even a solo dude or two. Speaking of dudes, the most unexpected thing I encountered was a guy sitting on a bench in front of the Cookie Company. He was totally normal, except for the fact that he was playing the HECK out of a harmonica. Really? Was I at the NWA mall or a street corner in Philly? I thought it was so strange. Cool, but strange.

Well, I learned my lesson. Next time I have to go to the mall, don't bother until after 10. Or else bring some drums and get ready to jam.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

There really is no better word

Oy vey*. Yesterday was Abby's birthday party. Now, for almost 10 years I have owned an event planning company. I have organized and run large weddings for hundreds of people. And none of them have worn me out the way a kid's birthday party can. It's one of life's great parenting mysteries.

This year, Abby made it easy on us--she wanted to have a High School Musical 3 party and watch the movie here at our house. Woo hoo! No expensive site rentals, no inflatable slides or roller skates. We invited all girls, and had 10 plus Abby at the party. The kids ate pizza and cake and then watched the movie. I figured that most girls wouldn't last the whole movie, but every single one of them sat there through the whole thing. Impressive! Abby had a ball, and I didn't die, so I consider it a success. Here are some pictures:

Before her party, Abby had to get in a little TT (trampoline time). Since she was all gussied up, I thought it made a good photo op. I only had to take 225 shots to get this one good one:

All the girls got movie star sunglasses as favors. Here they are making their best starlet poses:

Here's Abby with her fabulous HSM3 cake made by the one and only Autumn. Don't you dig Abby's hair? We were going for a Charlie's Angels look. Well, that's what I was going for--Abby just requested that it be "poufy."

After the party, Abby's two BFFs Audrey and Carol Grace stayed for a slumber party. They had SO much fun.
I gave them a bedtime cookies-and-milk snack. I could not have been more popular if I gave them face time with the Jonas Brothers.

And finally, so you would remember that I do indeed have two children, here is a picture of my sweet boy bringing me a flower. Granted, he picked it from the flower bed while Matt was yelling at him not to, but it's the thought that counts, right?

* I LOVE Jewish words and sayings. Really, they are genius. What word can better describe the sentiment I was trying to convey besides oy vey? And there are others I love too. Schmuck, verklempt, the list goes on.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Jump for joy

Abby's birthday is a few days away, and even though her party is this weekend, Matt and I couldn't resist giving her her birthday present a little early. Mainly because it's a little hard to hide--it's a 12 foot trampoline. It's actually a joint present for her and Ethan, but he doesn't have a clue about such things, so we just presented it at her birthday. Matt worked on it all day and got it finished minutes before she got home from school. We took her to the back yard, and I really thought she was going to have a heart attack on the spot. She's in heaven. It's freezing outside, but she couldn't care less. I'm pretty sure she'd sleep on it if she thought we'd let her get away with it.

Here are some pictures of the reveal and breaking in:

Fun, huh?