Wednesday, May 30, 2007

We can never just have a normal vacation

I'm pleased to say we survived our holiday weekend, though it was not without its road bumps, both literally and figuratively. The most significant:

- Abby sustained what was, in her eyes, a major injury when she jumped over a sprinkler in my grandmother's back yard and it nicked the side of her foot. There was a small amount of blood that gathered around the cut--not enough to drip off--and she should truly have won an Oscar for her performance. Once she calmed down, though, she admitted that she had "just freaked out for a minute."

-On their return trip Sunday, my parents hit a deer on I40 going around 75 miles an hour (them, not the deer). Incredibly, they were going fast enough that the deer literally exploded on impact. Yes, it's every bit as gross as it sounds. Mom's car is at a garage in Russellville awaiting repairs, and Matt and I spent half of Sunday afternoon racing to Russellville to rescue them. They were remarkably calm about the whole thing--as dad put it, "No matter how bad our day was, at least it wasn't as bad as the deer's" True, true.

-On Monday at around noon, my grandmother's 60-ish cousin Wilma, from California, called. Wilma is a bit of an odd duck. She's very loud, and very talkative, and very blunt, and very clueless about how much she annoys everyone, and also about anything related to social skills. Wilma announced that she was in town, and could she take my grandmother out to dinner? My grandmother, who had been planning to spend that time with us before we left, of course agreed because she's so sweet. Besides, she would still have all afternoon to hang out with us first. Well, it turned out that Wilma was calling from a taxi. A mile from my grandmother's house. She showed up 10 minutes later, and planted herself all day. Let me just share with you the first thing she said to me, and I think this will sum up very neatly for you the woman that is Wilma. I walked into the room, and my grandmother said, "Wilma, you remember Nancy, don't you?" I haven't seen Wilma in probably 10 years. Wilma said, "Of course! My, you're thinner than you were last time. I always thought you might have a pretty face, and now I can see that you do!" Yeah. How do you even respond to that? When I saw that she had brought all of her luggage, my eyebrows must have shot past my hairline, because she said, "Oh, don't worry, I'm not staying. I'm catching a bus in downtown Little Rock at 1 AM tonight to go to Florida and see my grandkids, so I'm just going to take a cab from here in time to catch the bus." The eyebrows stayed up, but she paid no mind. My poor grandmother was stuck listening to Wilma blab for hours. Finally, around 8:00, my aunt Linda marched into the living room and told my grandmother that she had been going too strong, and she had to go to bed at 9:00 or she would be too exhausted the rest of the week. Wilma finally got the hint and called her taxi--I guess she sat in the bus station for the next few hours.

Here are the questions that will likely forever be left unanswered that I have about this siutation, and this lady.
1. How do you just not mention that you are coming from California to Arkansas ahead of time?
2. Why do you fly from California and then take a BUS to Florida?
3. Why would you presume your 80 year old cousin, who you see MAYBE once every 2 years and are not all that close to, wants to stay up yacking with you until midnight?
4. What would you have done, in that taxi a mile from her house, if your cousin wasn't home?

Now, I know that my precious Aunt Joyce, my grandmother's sister-in-law, is reading this, and that she too got a visit from adorable cousin Wilma. Aunt Joyce, please don't be mad at me for saying all of these things. I know that you guys love Wilma, but have to admit this was blog-worthy!

The rest of the trip was thoroughly enjoyable. We got to see our friends Kevin and Robin, and their new son Ryan along with their almost-2 year old Noah, who could be Ethan's twin. We were able to see lots of family and friends at my grandmother's birthday party. If only my dad had been driving a little slower, we could have all been the proud owners of a lifetime supply of deer jerky, too!


Anonymous said...

My Dear Niece.....
How have we deceived you so greatly that you think we actually ENJOY listening to Cousin Wilma??!!
We endured about 2 hours of constant "talk" on Sunday at lunch. Poor Jean - 9 hours!! Let's just say we're glad she lives in California! Remember the time Wilma came to Jean's and moved in, either just before or just after the Standridge Reunion? She doesn't lack boldness! Enough of me -
Love, Aunt Joyce

Outnumbered said...

You should have joined us in Branson!!! No Wilma's up there, just semi-rude ride operators inside Silver Dollar City. You can really tell that they haven't had the kiddy-rides in place for very long. They need a trip to Disney University to figure out how to talk to kids.

Anyway, we had an absolutely wonderful time up there! Wish you could have joined us, but totally understand the family gatherings. We will be in Bentonville next weekend with all three kids, and we will just have to get together.

Maybe I will be able to squeeze in that interview I am hoping to have on Monday, 6/11!!!

Anonymous said...

Well what a "vacation" it was. A surprise birthday party, that actually was a very nice surprise, a deer acident that was very traumatic for me and cousin would be too much for most people to handle. The deer we hit on I-40 is somewhere on the side of the highway with a VW symbol branded on it. We' never hit anything before, much less a deer that just about destroyed my new car....Hopefully it will be fixed next week and the really good news is that we weren't hurt at all. Jerry's reasoning for not getting hurt is that we were going so fast that it just exploded, going any slower would have sent it through the windshield and havoc would have ensued. But it did'nt and we're fine thanks to several people. First our daughter who writes this blog and our son-in-law who puts up with us, my 80 year old mother, my wonderful aunt and uncle who are the most helpful people I know who are not obligated by anything to do whatever they can any time they can . Without every one of these people we might still be sitting on the side of I-40 waiting for Billy Bob the wrecker guy. If Nance wants deer jerky, I can give her the general location of the busted up deer and she can work on it. As for cousin Wilma, it's a real good thing that we were'nt still there cause if we were she'd been in that taxi long before 8pm. Being from California, she's got to be used to weird people....I would have pulled out my weirdest personality and she'd had been gone within the hour she'd arrived. She's very lucky I was'nt there. The surprise party for my Mother was great!! She had a fun time and it was really nice for me to watch her enjoy herself. I took her that morning to get her hair done then she's lost so much weight recently she's got some new clothes. She looked 60 not 80!!! I was very proud to say she was my Mother. I think she had tons of fun.!! Ok, I'm finished now. We were'nt there for Abby's run in with the sprinkler, but I understand and ambulance was lurking in down the street. I'm happy to report that I was with her last night and she's still alive with no apparent lingering damage to her foot. Amanzing though it may seem, I pretty sure life will go on....