Monday, June 15, 2009

The best of both worlds?

Yesterday Matt and I went to a Naturals game, courtesy of our friends and neighbors Matt and Cori. We had a great time. If you know me, you know I love sports. Football is my favorite by a landslide, but I enjoy basketball and baseball too. However, baseball games are an entirely different animal that any other sporting event. As we sat there yesterday and I pondered this thought, a blog idea seed was planted in my mind and grew the entire game. I got a pencil and paper and jotted notes as they came to me, while Matt sat next to me and muttered "You are such a weirdo." Back at ya, babe.

So, after much internal processing and self-discussion, I would like to present my list of:

THINGS THAT WOULD HAPPEN IF FOOTBALL AND BASKETBALL GAMES WERE RUN LIKE BASEBALL GAMES

1. Every time the Kentucky team came to play basketball, it would be "KFC" night. Col. Sanders would be handing out coupons to the fans, and the nets would be retooled to look like giant chicken buckets.

2. Before each football play, a different pop song would play over the loudspeaker. I'm thinking "Take a Chance On Me" for third downs and "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" for field goals. For offsides penalties, perhaps a little Eagles' "Learn to be Still."

3. Instead of the referee tossing the basketball to begin the game, a local celebrity would do it.

4. If there are 4 third down conversions using pass plays in the second quarter, the entire audience gets a hot dog for 25 cents at all local Valeros, TOMORROW ONLY.

5. When a basketball player throws an airball, the sound effect of whistling wind, a la Western movies, is played over the loudspeakers.

6. During time outs, fans are pulled on to the field/court to have super-fast contests of such a dignified nature as riding a tricycle across the court, line dancing on the 30 yard line or seeing who can hold a handstand for the longest. The mascot may or may not be a contestant.

7. Durng halftime, the audience is led in a sing-along by the announcer.

Can you imagine it? Somehow it just doesn't seem right. What did I miss? Can you envision any more adjustments?

4 comments:

Outnumbered said...

Ha! It has been so long since I have been to a baseball game. I think I need to go - see if I can get inspired :)

Mandy

Matt said...

Okay... If you're just going to make fun of minor league baseball, I'm not going to give you tickets anymore! :o) But seriously - that's the whole appeal of minor league ball! I will admit, though, that the Naturals have gone a bit far with their endorsements - a French's Mustard logo on the mascot's back?!

Melanie said...

That's hilarious! I laughed outloud! But they have to do all that stuff to keep the fans from falling asleep!

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